The Conflict Over a Lego Brick
This scenario is modeled after a true situation I experienced recently. The scenario is about building a Lego set, but of course, it is not really about Lego at all. Regardless, here it goes.
My friends and I discovered a few years ago that we needed to build a Lego set to make sure we were happy. But the friend who was tasked with obtaining the Lego set brought it to the group already built. This friend said they just tried building it and the next thing they knew, it was all done. So the rest of us thanked this friend for doing all of the work for us and we were all happy the Lego set was done.
About a year later, I started to become curious about the Lego set and picked up the manual with instructions on how to build it, in the box. There, I found several errors on our Lego set that needed to be fixed, according to the manual. So I got the friend group together and communicated where the instructions and the built Lego set did not match. Thankfully, my friends all agreed that indeed, we needed to fix the Lego set for it to align with the instructions.
Over time, the friend group changed and some old friends moved away while new friends joined the group. One day, I was showing off the finished Lego set that the friend group made years ago. But one of the newer friends pointed out that a Lego block was incorrectly placed. Completely caught off guard by the friend's critique, I quickly fixed the error according to this new friend's correction. I felt embarrassed and shameful in front of the entire group for showing off a less-than-perfect Lego set. But in the end, I was happy that our Lego set had finally been corrected.
However, I grew suspicious. I returned to the instructions, and to my anger, the critique by the newer friend was incorrect, and the previous design was correct! I was enraged at the friend who criticized the Lego block, because they had not even read the instructions and decided to correct it, making me feel shame and embarrassment, when I was actually correct because I had read the entire instruction manual several times already. It made me mad that someone who did not even do their homework dared correct me, when I had done the homework multiple times over the years.
So, I got the group back together to re-correct the mistake. Anticipating the newer friend would argue back if I corrected them, I had the instructions manual prepared and open to the page that showed that my way was correct. I showed everyone the wrongfully corrected Lego block and truly corrected the mistake. But then, the friend created a dramatic uproar that they did not like my tone and that I was antagonizing them when they were simply trying to help. I was puzzled. How could they react in such a way when they were corrected, when I was so accommodating when they had corrected me before, with incorrect information? Although I was still mad at being incorrectly corrected by this underqualified friend, I decided the friendship was more important. So I sent a message to our friend group chat, apologizing for the way I had exposed the friend's mistake and explained that I was simply trying to make sure our Lego set was built correctly.
And now, I have received nothing but radio silence. Several other friends in the group offered private messages of support and agreement with my actions. But no words came from the newer friend who was the one that was now upset. I keep thinking, how could this have played out differently, so that the conflict did not have to occur? How can I repair this friendship, especially in time for a trip with the entire friend group that is coming up in just a few months? Already, there are several friends who have sided with the newer friend, while there are some that have sided with me. Will time just heal this divide? How could a simple Lego block so easily fracture our friend group like this? What can I do to mend and fix this situation?